Comedian and host to the stars David Letterman has been slapped with a restraining order by a New Mexico judge. Judge Daniel Sanchez signed an order preventing Dave from contacting, annoying, threatening, or harming a Sante Fe woman named Colleen Nestler who claims that "the television host has been secretly communicating with her for 12 years via code words, gestures and eye expressions." The good folks over at the Smoking Gun have a copy of her 7 page handwritten account, detailing how Letterman has secretly responded to her "thoughts of love," imploring her to move east. Apparently, he even offered a marriage proposal on his "Marry me Oprah" show. You guessed it, Oprah is one of Dave's many code nicknames for Colleen.
This has got to be my favorite celebrity story of the year. I urge you- nay, plead with you;go read the handwritten account. I promise it'll make you guffaw. I can barely type through my tears of laughter. If this woman reads thoughts from Letterman's gestures and facial expressions, I have to wonder what she'd think Conan O'Brien is trying to communicate to her. It'd have to be lewd.