We love our geeky older brothers over at Joystiq, but I can't help but read this post, by Blake Snow, and gently suggest that they've been, well, snowed. Blake points to this article in Way I Play which claims that a feature film version of Pong is currently in production. Way I Play "finds" a few hilarious quotes, including this one from alleged Pong: The Movie director Paul W.S. Anderson, the guy behind Mortal Kombat: "“There will be awesome hand to hand combat, I can tell you that much,” blurted Anderson. “If you’ve played PONG, it will be like discovering it for the first time all over again. If you’ve never played PONG, it will be like discovering it twice."" "Anderson" goes on to say that Antonio Banderas has already been casting in the lead ... er, leads. “Antonio Banderas like you’ve never seen him before. He will play both ‘padz,’ as we’re calling them. Brothers separated at birth and trained to eliminate the other. Banderas was the only one I would consider for the job."

Now, things in Hollywood have been so messed up lately, that we could see why the Joystiqers might believe this – after all, that Pacman item from last week hasn't been proven wrong yet. But let me submit two small bits of evidence that may convince you that Pong: The Movie, is not, actually, going to happen. Ever. First off, the Way I Play article quotes statements made in a Variety article ... which, as far I can tell, doesn't actually exist. Somewhat more damning: the fact that the article is clearly filed under "Satire". Sorry boys – it was fun while it lasted, but it looks like you've been pong'd.
categories Movies, Cinematical