Because the world apparently hasn't seen enough of Jean-Claude Van Damme, or perhaps because Hollywood just loves to reward patent mediocrity, beat-em-up guy Jean-Claude Van Damme has not one, not two, but four movies on the boards, two in 2006, and two in 2007.

First up is Second in Command, in which Jean-Claude plays an official appointed, well, second-in-command to the US Ambassador to a tumultuous Eastern European country. There's an attempted coup, the Ambassador is killed, and guess who has to get all bad-ass and save the day? Yup, Jean-Claude. Sounds thrilling, yes?

Next up to bat is The Hard Corps, helmed by frequent Jean-Claude offender Sheldon Lettich, who previously brought us such Jean-Claude gems as Lionheart, Double Impact, and The Order (all also co-written by Jean-Claude). In The Hard Corps, Jean-Claude will play a former combat vet, fresh off fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, who decides to take a break from being a military bad-ass to be a bodyguard to a former Heavyweight Boxing champion, to protect the champ and his family from -- get this -- a Rap Music Mogul. Nevermind the inevitable questions about why a heavyweight boxing champ would need a bodyguard. And I guess the Evil Rap Music Mogul is going to replace Evil <insert Middle Eastern nation> Terrorist as the next legion of bad guys whose asses must be kicked by Jean-Claude, Steven Seagal and Bruce Willis.

categories Cinematical