- There's very little we can say about the "news" that Gwyneth Paltrow has employed a Kabbalah minister to cleanse the "negative energy" from her allegedly haunted house, that The Superficial hasn't already said better: "I am against people being murdered. There are, however, three exceptions to this rule: 1) rapists, 2) zombie Hitler, and 3) Gwyneth Paltrow. This 'negative energy' no doubt results from her being an unrelenting bitch."
- Lindsay Lohan reveals her weight loss secrets to Vanity Fair. The next morning, her rep calls the mag and politely requests that "I blew a lot of rails to get this body" be changed to "Chunks. I mean, I blew a lot of chunks. Because I'm bulemic. And totally not on drugs. But anyway, if you want to fit into a sample size, bulemia rules!"
- What did you do last weekend? Keifer Sutherland got in a drunken fistfight with a Christmas tree. Another one from our Superficial friend.