One of the best satirical websites ever to be conceived, The Onion, has a movie in the works--in theory. I have no idea what it's about, but it's billed as a "sketch comedy" and is written by Robert Siegel and Todd Hansen, writers for The Onion, so it's sure to be chock-full of the unique brand of satire The Onion is so well known for. IMDB lists roles for the film including "Texas Chainsaw Killer", "The Penis Businessman", "Upstanding Black Man" and "Gil Bates" and has aging action-star Steven Seagal in the coveted role of "Cock Puncher". Steven Seagal as "Cock Puncher"?!? I'd see the film just to see that.

However, the movie finished shooting in 2004, was supposed to be released in 2005, and still isn't out. So not sure what gives. Actor Amir Talai, who had a role in the film, last updated his blog entry about the film in October 2004, with the note that the film had been pushed to 2005. I emailed Amir to see if he had any updates, and he said he hasn't heard anything about the film for over a year, which wouldn't seem to bode well for the film ever seeing the light of day. We emailed the editors of The Onion as well, but got no response.

So, anyone out there with the inside scoop on The Onion movie? What gives? Did Fox Searchlight greenlight the film, then decide it sucked? Were audience reactions to the film's previews so dismal they decided to pull it? Was it not funny enough? Too satirical? Or is all this just part of the secret plan to draw interest in the film?

categories Movies, Cinematical