Would you like to hear something even more demented than the fact that there is going to be a Baywatch movie? Yes? Said movie is supposedly going to be directed and co-produced by Eli Roth. Yes, you heard me right: splatter/gore/horror wonderboy Eli Roth is going to direct a movie about boobs, sun, and "crime-fighting lifeguards." Honestly. This is so odd that I have already checked the calendar three times to confirm that it is not, in fact, April Fool's Day - and, since it's not, I suppose we'll have to accept that it's really happening.

According to Roth, the movie is going to feature "a new crop of hotties" (oh, joy), but will also include a cameo from legendary boob lifeguard Pamela Anderson. Thank goodness for that. As far as the plot is concerned, David Hasselhoff (who appears to be somehow involved - despite saying last spring that he wouldn't be) says it's going to totally rock. No, for real. "It will be set in different locations around the world. There will be lifeguards who are also sent on crime-busting sprees." Are you hearing this? "Crime-busting sprees"?! Globe-trotting lifeguards? What, are the world's cops all dead, or something?

Can you stand the anticipation?

Edit: Thanks to Carsten for pointing out the very reassuring update to the original AICN post: Roth is, in fact, producing, but is NOT directing the film. Thanks goodness. Of course, the movie's still happening, so not everything has been resolved - still, it's a step in the right direction.
categories Movies, Cinematical