George Clooney doesn't expect to win any Oscars. Really, he doesn't. It's an honor just to be nominated, and all that jazz.  Actually, of all the guys in Hollywood, Clooney is the one guy I actually believe when he says that, which is why he's one of my secret movie star boyfriends. Whether he really is sincere, or he's just really good at acting sincere, who can say? I'm a sucker for those soulful puppydog eyesn and earnest eyebrows, I guess.

Clooney scored three Oscar noms - directing and screenplay nods for Good Night and Good Luck, and a supporting actor nom for his role in Syriana, in which he plays a CIA agent assigned to assassinate the heir to the throne in a Persian Gulf country. You'd think with three noms, he ought to have a decent shot of scoring Oscar gold on at least one.

Personally, I think the Academy needs to invent a special award for actors who put on 35 pounds in a month just to play a part, as Clooney did for Syriana. Do you know how many Twinkies, Krispy Kremes, and Fatburgers it takes to pack on 35 pounds in 30 days? It's not as easy as just slipping into a fatsuit and some latex appliances, as Gywneth Paltrow did for Shallow Hal. Clooney actually ATE to get chunky. And he was forced to grow that nappy looking beard that made him look like my drunk Uncle Louie. Surely that's worth something in the world of self-congratulatory Hollywood back-patting.