What I'm about to say may shock you, but I'm convinced the readers of this site can handle just about anything by now. As a precaution, I'm going to ask you to stay seated and take hold of something firm. Ready? Deep breath. Here goes ... Jessica Simpson actually knows how to read! No, I swear it -- she really does know how to read. Take, for example, the fact that she just recently bought up the film rights to the Jackie Collins novel, Lovers and Players, so that she can conveniently place herself in the role of leading lady.
Determined to take on more serious roles, Simpson is chasing after a character in the book that is being described as the "lead vixen." Now, I've never read a Jackie Collins novel, but I do know that her novels are full of sex, lies and, well, more sex. Lovers and Players tells the story of a billionaire who summons his three sons to Las Vegas in order to make an announcement about their inheritance. Somewhere mixed in is a 19-year-old waitress named Liberty who aspires to be the next Mariah Carey. If we change Carey to Simpson, perhaps Jessica can play a character who aspires to be herself. That would be extremely vain, but at the same time, strangely appealing.