As much as you would love this post to take you to a link that showed Jessica Simpson doing her best Pamela Anderson impersonation, sadly, that is not the case. However, I will tell you that, according to British tabloid The Sun, Simpson is set to take over Anderson's role in the new Baywatch movie. (I'm sure there's a dumb blonde joke to include here, but it might offend you redheads.)
Not long ago, I reported that Simpson had snatched up the rights to the Jackie Collins novel Lovers and Players, in an attempt to attract some more serious roles. Note to Jessica: Running around in a tight bathing suit, spitting out horrific dialogue and having it all surround the word "Baywatch" doesn't exactly lead to more serious roles. In fact, it kind of leads to, well, low-quality home movies. The source that broke the story claimed -- get this -- "Jessica has all the assets to make Pammie's part her own." Yeah, and something tells me those "assets" don't include her ability to act.