If there's one thing I don't have, it's attitude. Born and raised in New York City, I've mastered the art of looking like I have attitude by studying those around me ... and it ain't easy. Through my training, I've learned the most important rule to follow while attempting to come off as someone with severe attitude is not to smile. Smiling shows weakness and, because of this, you'll notice that 98% of all New Yorkers rarely smile. Actually that's not true -- they will smile upon seeing something bad happen to another person. They smile because they're so glad it didn't happen to them.
It's okay though -- I've accepted the fact that I don't have attitude. I mean, growing up, I was rarely involved in a situation that forced me to utilize some form of attitude. I never ran with a bunch of punk kids, never played an intense sport like football, never joined the military and I never committed a crime. However, I did play video games and watch MTV. And yet, I don't have an extensive gun collection and never engaged in copious amounts of promiscuous sex. Go figure.
As you may have guessed by now, all of the following films feature characters with attitude. Something I don't have. And never will. I blame you, Carson Daly. Welcome to this week's Trailer Park: