The last time I asked my trusty Magic 8 Ball to help predict the Academy Awards, it did fairly well. Of course, the thing failed miserably when it came to Best Picture, but I blame myself -- after all, there is a certain way you have to shake it.

Not many know this, but when it comes to accurately predicting the future with a Magic 8-Ball, there are a variety of elements that need to be in place. Seeing as I'm asking it about this summer's films, I needed to make sure I had a nice, fake tan ahead of time. That's right, unless you're tan, the Magic 8-Ball will not work. Secondly, I needed to dumb way down. Heck, this ain't Oscar season -- it's "Let's spend an absurd amount of money on a film and hope no one will realize the thing lacks anything even remotely close to a plot" season.

Last, but certainly not least, I needed to have a witness. Without a witness, I could just make this whole thing up. And we wouldn't want that, would we? Once again, I've asked my friend Adam to come along and forced him (against his will, of course) to wear a Louis Vuitton designer Snakes on a Plane t-shirt. What? You didn't know Louis Vuitton was making SOAP shirts? Where the hell have you been? Finally, with all the elements in place, it was time to begin. I lowered the lights, picked up my Magic 8-Ball and quickly watched the trailer for Little Man to inject myself with one last dose of stupid. Here we go ...

categories Movies, Cinematical