According to a small item in the Boston Herald that was recently picked up by the New York Post, Gwyneth Paltrow is set to make her return to the big screen (you can be forgiven for not missing her, what with the constant spouting of directives about how and where we ought to be living, but she stopped acting for a while to have the horrifically-named Apple and Moses Bruce) with ... a Farrellybrothers-helmed remake. Um, ok. I wonder how many scripts she threw away before she chose that one -- "Great! A remake of The Heartbreak Kid! Just what I've been searching for!"

From what I can tell, the remake -- retitled Seven-Day Itch, for our hip modern times -- is the Ben Stiller-starrer Erik reported on back in April. That film's plot, about "a man ... [who] marries [what] he thinks is the perfect woman, only to fall in love with someone else while on his honeymoon," exactly mirrors that of Heartbreak Kid, so the intellectual leap is one even I can handle. The Herald reports that Michelle Monaghan is the first choice of the Farrellys for the "other woman" role, but so far that's pretty much a fantasy -- it doesn't appear that talks are even underway.

While I'm doing a pretty good job of suppressing my knee-jerk remake bitterness here, I remain troubled by the fact that Stiller is trying to step into Charles Grodin's shoes here. Ben, I know Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin is a friend of mine. You, sir, are no Charles Grodin.*

*I've never met Charles Grodin.
categories Movies, Cinematical