Now that Sean Connery is retired -- aside from returning as Henry Jones in Indiana Jones 4, hopefully -- he can do leisurely things like ... write a book about Scottish history. Well, okay, he isn't exactly writing a textbook on his native land, he's simply writing his memoirs and including a lot of Scottish history in them. Now comes the joke about Connery being so old that his memoirs are the history of Scotland, or the one about Connery being so representative of Scotland to outsiders that Scottish history began with Connery's birth (wait, those jokes aren't different. yes, slightly, they are. are you sure? oh well, forget it, neither one is funny anyway). So, you're probably thinking that Connery is wasting his time; we don't need a history of Scotland when we can just watch Braveheart, Brigadoon, Highlander and Trainspottingand know all there is to know, right? Connery says, "Our goal is to produce a readable, visually stimulating book of Scotland, with personal discoveries." So we know it has words and pictures. Other than that, I'm confused as to what it will be about, really.

What I do know is that after finishing this book, Connery should start teaching Scottish history at this great university I'm going to found. So far the staff of professors will include him and John Cleese, who will be teaching comedy.

categories Cinematical