How to make the world's most generic-looking horror movie:

1. Cast Sarah Michelle Gellar in the lead. (Newly brunette, so as to show her acting range.)

2. Have the story be about a woman who's being haunted by a long-dead stranger.

3. Call it The Return.

4. Make sure it's rated PG-13.

5. Use this trailer as promotional material.

Meh, maybe I'm just being extra-nasty for no good reason. I'm certain that The Return, which comes from a first-time screenwriter, a second-time director and a studio division generally known for inconsistent output, could be a phenomenally excellent horror movie.

Actually, no, I'm not. Flick opens on November 17th. DVD by the end of February.
categories Cinematical