A few weeks back I mentioned that Uwe Boll was having trouble finding boxing partners for his moronic new publicity stunt. Well, now it looks like Mr. Boll's crack team of Romanian interns has spent a few extra nights at the Internet Cafe, because it seems that Mankind's Worst Filmmaker now has a bunch of attention-hungry Boll-Bashers who are more than willing to leap into the ring with the king of crap cinema.

According to a ridiculously-formatted press release over at SKNR.net, Mr. Boll will fight against four of his detractors in Vancouver and one extra guy in Spain. All of this is somehow meant to clear Uwe Boll's name as a monumentally woeful filmmaker, because if there's one thing we're taught in our first day of Film Studies, it's this: Universally negative reviews can be negated by punching.

The guys who'll be climbing into the ring opposite the German Vermin will be Jeff Sneider (AICN), Chris Alexander (Rue Morgue), Nelson Chance Minter (IMDb commenter?), Carlos Palencia (Cinecutre.com), and Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka of SomethingAwful.com -- who I'm picking as the big winner because I've always liked his website and he already has the boxer-esque nickname. New sponsor GoldenPalace.com is calling the event -- wait for it -- Raging Boll.

The brawls will take place on September 23rd, which really sucks because I'm scheduled to shave the back of my neck that day, which means I'm going to miss all the sad, sad publicity-leeching fun. Expect the sub-reality show-level boxing festivites to take place in a dank arena filled with tons of Dungeon Siege movie posters, which is scheduled to assault movie theaters later this year -- although my money's on mid-January.
categories Cinematical