The Break-Up

Each summer, we the moviegoing people of America are confronted with a plethora -- yes, El Guapo, a plethora -- of films competeting for our critical and financial validation. Some of these movies boast behemoth budgets, larger-than-life stars and lots of action, while others cost practically nothing to make but leave us wishing the blockbusters were one-tenth as good. I believe that there is good -- and bad -- to be found in both kinds of films and that is why I've decided to dedicate the remainder of this week's blog posts to honoring the awesome, the crappy, the big, the small, the studio and the indie films that have made this summer one to remember. The Academy has the Oscars, 'The Office' has the Dundies and I -- I have what shall heretofore be known as the Tommys. That name is now trademarked, so all who try to use it for their own material gain shall incur the wrath of my legal expertise. And the first Tommy goes to ...

Best Use of an Expletive: Ryan Gosling, 'Half Nelson'
There's something about a grade-school teacher rolling down the window of his car, leaning his head out and nonchalantly calling one of his female students a bitch that is just so wrong -- and so right.

M. Night Shyamalan Award for Best Twist Ending: 'The Break-Up'
Did you see any evidence of a depressing arthouse ending anywhere in the promotional campaign for Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston's romantic "comedy" hit? Neither did I.

Movie Most in Need of a Twist Ending: 'Lady in the Water'
Despite a little thing called hubris that pretty much every single one of theGreek tragedies calls out as a big no-no, M. Night Shyamalan went ahead and cast himself as a writer whose scribblings will change the world. AND, on top of that, he forsook the device that made him famous in the first place: the twist ending. As a result, 'Lady' floundered at the box office.

Best Idea for an Alternate Ending: 'The Lake House,' as told to me by Nick
Keanu Reeves, who's living in 2004, folds himself up, squeezes into the magic mailbox he's been using to communicate with Sandra Bullock, who's living in 2006, and mails himself to the future. Keanu and Sandra live happily ever after. Honestly, makes about as much sense as the movie.

Come back tomorrow for the SUMMER MOVIE AWARDS PART II!

Top 11 Lessons We Learned From Movies This Summer

Tags:Summer Movies
categories Features, Cinematical