Come on and listen to a story 'bout a man called Jay
He killed a thousand people way back in the day
He's been in 11 movies and he always comes back
Cuz the gorehounds love the guy like a junkie digs crack.

Now if you wanna see all his murders in a row
And you don't have time for a multi-movie show
I'll give you all a tip on a place that's hip
Head on down to JoBlo's for a YouTube clip!

(Yes kids that's right, we have ALL of Jason Voorhees' murders in one handy little 7-minute movie clip! He slices, he dices, he cooks 'em up with spices, ladies and gentlemen. No Friday the 13th is complete without JV's horrific arsenal of garden-variety flesh-piercers! We're talking hacksaws, hatchets and harpoons! Axes, arrows, machetes, spears, pitchforks, corkscrews, shears and knives! Um ... road flares, weed-whackers and electric guitars, too! Yes, there's nothing that Jason won't wield while trying to rid his peaceful forest home of those devious teenaged fornicators! And sometimes they smoke pot! Get 'em, Jason! So join us now in celebrating the fine work that Mr. Voorhees has done over the past quarter-century. Enjoy his full exploits -- without all that painful dialogue!)
categories Cinematical