As I departed the theater after a screening of Unaccompanied Minors and set off for the long train ride home, I attempted to let the film sit with me for a little while before forming an opinion. However, one other movie kept gnawing at me, and no matter how hard I tried those Goonies wouldn't leave me alone. Really, the only thing both films have in common is that they focus on a group of teenage misfits, each with their own bizarre idiosyncrasies, who are desperately trying to allude a common enemy. Aside from that they're completely different in every way, shape or form.
Yet, part of what makes flicks like The Goonies so special and memorable is that the actors, while only teenagers, do a tremendous job of not only convincing us they are these characters, but also making us feel -- we sympathize, we root and we run right alongside them until the very last frame. Now, if you take The Goonies, strip anything even remotely adventurous and free-spirited about it, then wrap the entire thing in plastic -- the kind your grandmother uses to keep her living room furniture stain free -- then you'll wind up with Unaccompanied Minors, a film so formulaic, rehearsed and polished that it would make a great companion next to that fake basket of fruit on grandma's dining room table.