Oh, good, here's Ryan Seacrest pretending to be all a-flutter over Ali Larter, that blond chick from Heroes. I sure wish they'd pimp that show a little more tonight. It's Ali's first year at the Globes, and apparently no one told her about the double-stick tape trick for keeping your boobies from popping out, because she keeps adjusting her low-cut dress.

Natalie Portman is wearing no jewelry and a black dress with ... what is that on the skirt? Feathers or something? Her lack of adornment fascinated Jay, -- who Jen informs me is one of the model coaches from that model show. Look, ma! No jewelry! J-Lo is on hand wearing a constricting green number that has her looking irritated.

Oh, delighful! Ryan Seacrest just said E! has a "crotch cam" to capture those up-the-skirt shots! I'm glad to see E! taking the high road. Very classy, Seacrest. Stamos' response: " Are you hitting on me?": Best line of the night so far. Way to go, Uncle Jesse!