We've just passed the one-month warning for the ever-popular day of love, Valentine's Day -- otherwise known as the day couples gladly buy overpriced, generic roses, "heartfelt" cards and expensive dinners to prove their love to their significant other. Personally, I'd rather have a nice and cheap but also romantic night with a boyfriend and save the money for 3 extravagant romantic nights when prices go back to normal, but that's just me. If you're one of the growing number of people a bit annoyed with the heart-shaped frenzy, and you want to add a little caustic panache to February 14th, you might want to head to the CD store on February 6.

Why? John Waters, my favorite Cinematic King of Sleaze, is putting out another holiday CD. Oh, yes. A Date with John Waters is a collection of 14 songs -- fitting number -- that hit on a bunch of Waters' lyrical loves, such as Tonight You Belong to Me, which he claims is the first album he ever shoplifted. In an interview with Film Stew, Waters is already thinking of other holidays. Really, who else could make a CD about the Fourth of July work? But back to cupid. Although the liner notes contain the following from Waters: "Come on over, let's listen to some tunes. Have a seat on my sofa. Think I invited you over here to discuss the future of independent film? Hell no, I'm lookin' for a little action." I think both could fit in on a night of hearts. As Ike and Tina croon that All I Can Do is Cry, why not throw on some of Waters' romantic offerings? Perhaps you can also fall for a little Cry Baby, or delight in fecal mastication with Pink Flamingos. Forget Pitt and the other A-List heartthrobs, John Waters is the new King of Seduction!

Waters' 14 Love Songs:

1. Tonight You Belong To Me - Patience & Prudence
2. Jet Boy Jet Girl - Elton Motello
3. Ain't Got No Home - Clarence "Frogman" Henry
4. I'd Love To Take Orders From You - Mildred Bailey
5. In Spite of Ourselves - John Prine with Iris DeMent
6. All I Can Do Is Cry - Ike & Tina Turner
7. Big Girls Don't Cry - Edith Massey
8. Imitation of Life - Earl Grant
9. Sometimes I Wish I Had A Gun - Mink Stole
10. Johnny Are You Queer? - Josie Cotton
11. (Night Time Is) The Right Time - Ray Charles
12. Hit The Road To Dreamland - Dean Martin
13. If I Knew You Were Coming I'd've Baked A Cake - Eileen Barton
14. Bewildered - Shirley & Lee
categories Features, Cinematical