Welcome to Cinematical's official liveblogging of the 79th Annual Academy Awards! Erik will be your host for the first hour; Monika will bat second and Kim will clean things up. Who will win? Who will lose? Who will get stuck in the bathroom? Let's find out ...

Catherine Deneuve is looking lovely, and she is joined by Ken Watanabe to present the funny talk, aka foreign language film. First, we get a history in these films, with a nice little montage. Chances of most of the viewing audience having not seen most, if not any of these films? Or, maybe not foreign film.. They left the stage. Instead, Clive Owen and Cate Blanchett, looking hotter than almost everyone on the planet, are presenting the award. I would be completely distracted if not for...

Best Foreign Language Film: The Lives of Others. I always, always pick the losers. I am happy beyond words that Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck grabbed the prize, over other great films.However, the Academy are jerks for not letting him speak. It was a great film. Kudos to the Oscars for recognizing that!!

Best Visual Effects: Pirates of the Caribbean, Dead Man's Chest. Naomi Watts is looking more like her old self, lest bony. That makes me happy. And YES! Robert Downey Jr. is making fun of his drug days. How can you not love someone who makes lovely fun of their risque days? Pirates steals the top prize! It makes sense, and I still can't get over that wheel scene.

Best Cinematography: Pan's Labyrinth, Guillermo Navarro. Gwyneth Paltrow is a great match tonight for cinematography. She's looking excellent. This is tough call, but Pan's gets another! Navarro gets music over his award speech, and I'm mourning the lack of Children of Men love.

These shadow people are amazing. The Little Miss Sunshine bus was damned impressive!

Jean Hersholt* Award: Sherry Lansing. Shoot from a low angle, it's Tom Cruise! He's presenting this award for Sherry Lansing -- the first female president of a major film studio (originally 20th Century Fox). The whole affair has that feel-good music and sound to it, but really, can't these creative people come up with other ways to give props to amazing people? The kitschy, cliche tone takes away from the person's achievements. Her acceptance speech is one hell of a well-written script. Could she have had Botox? Her face is quite, still for such an award.

Best Costume Design:
Marie Antoinette. It's interesting that best costume design gets announced by two women in questionable frocks. But Meryl Streep's necklace might be worse, but she slipped into character seamlessly. We've got live-action examples of the outfits, it's a bit more interesting than the sketches they usually show...but not too much. I'm amused at watching these women for Prada try to out-act Streep. Marie Antoinette has nabbed the Best Costume award. Milena Canonero is looking very distinguished in her tux. Who was the last woman to actually wear a classic tux at awards