Dagnabbit! CleanFlicks and other crazy film editing sites claim that they've found a loophole that allows them to edit Hollywood movies to take out all of that sin-worthy content. According to the company's website, they remove, in order -- profanity, graphic violence, nudity and sexual content. That might be enough to not take the company seriously, if simple collections of letters is considered the top thing to edit -- before violence. Their editing includes more than the flash of a nipple or a severed limb. The company's "selection criteria" also includes implied sexual content (unless that sexual content is by married individuals), a list of how many bad words there are (including "hell") and my very favorite: "jump scenes," otherwise known as "scenes which intend to unexpectedly startle the viewer." That's right, "BOO!" with a kid jumping out from around the corner could be considered inappropriate.

Now these kooks have decided that they have a legal right to hack movies to bits, even after a federal appeals judge ruled that the companies could no longer edit these films. In July of last year, Judge Richard P. Matsch had ruled that sanitizing movies on DVD or VHS violates federal copyright laws -- the assumed ending to a 3-year legal battle between the crazy companies and some Hollywood directors. Now, CleanFlicks and other such organizations are using the loophole that allows cinematic cuts for educational purposes. I'd really love to know how they consider this move educational. Have all of their customers -- half of whom are in the Land of the Mormons Utah -- made their homes educational institutions? If so, that's a lot of learnin' goin' on! Crazy kids... Good thing the company can't get its hands on the Bible. Methinks it would be a very small book if CleanFlicks and the like had their way.