It's not just that the painfully atrocious Kickin' It Old Skool is entirely lacking in laughs, wit, energy and good humor. That'd be enough to dismiss the thing as yet another sloppy comedy -- but this movie is much worse than that. Basically, the flick looks like something that was thrown together by a couple of clueless amateurs who just got done watching a double feature of Big and Breakin'. If you've been waiting your whole life for someone to combine those two movies into one unwatchable feature, congratulations: Here it is -- and you're the only one who'll enjoy it.
Jamie Kennedy, often funny elsewhere but so not funny here, plays a moron who wakes up after two decades in a coma and decides to participate in a break-dancing competition. To that end, he must convince his three old buddies to join the crew, get close to a cute girlfriend from the past, and thwart the conniving villain who wants to spoil the fun. It's basically an Adam Sandler screenplay that got tossed into the garbage a few years back, only to be fished out by Kennedy's agent, rewritten by a guy who pens episodes of Beauty and the Geek, and handed to a director who barely has an idea which end of the camera points out. But it's not the paper-thin (and plagiarized) nature of the plot that annoys me, nor is it the dead-eyed acting performances, the egregiously lame comedy material or the fact that the thing runs over a hundred merciless minutes.