Every single time I see the ads for a new Sci-Fi Channel World Premiere Movie, I'm compelled to chuckle. Not because I dislike the network (quite the opposite, actually) but because in an effort to fill their prime-time weekend airwaves with SOMETHING that's not a rerun, the network often bankrolls / broadcasts a horror movie so silly, so stupid, so amazingly retarded that it simply demands some attention. To illustrate my point, here is a list of "Sci-Fi Originals" from the past several years. (Cinematical.com is not responsible for nasal milk-spewage should you choose to drink milk while reading the following list.) Ready?

Alien Apocalypse, Alien Blood, Alien Express, Alien Hunter, Alien Lockdown, Android Apocalypse, Anonymous Rex, Attack of the Sabretooth, Basilisk: The Serpent King, Boa vs. Python, Cerberus, Chupacabra Terror, Crocodile, Crocodile 2: Death Swamp, Dragon Dynasty, Dragon Fighter, Dragon Storm, Dungeons & Dragons 2, Fire Serpent, Frankenfish, Gargoyles: Wings of Darkness, Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy, House of the Dead 2, Kaw, Kraken: Tentacles of the Deep, Lake Placid 2, Larva, Locusts: The 8th Plague, Mammoth, Man with the Screaming Brain, Man-Thing, Mansquito, Manticore, Minotaur, Octopus, Octopus 2: River of Fear, Pterodactyl, Pumpkinhead 3: Ashes to Ashes, Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys, Python, Python 2, Raging Sharks, Raptor Island, Raptor Island 2: Raptor Planet, Reign of the Gargoyles, Return of the Living Dead 5: Rave to the Grave, S.S. Doomtrooper, Sabretooth, Sasquatch, Sasquatch Hunters, Sasquatch Mountain, Savage Planet, Shapeshifter, Shark Attack, Shark Attack 2, Shark Attack 3: Megalodon, Shark Zone, Skeleton Man, Snakehead Terror, Snakeman, Species 3, Spiders, Spider 2: Breeding Ground, Voodoo Moon, and of course the classic Webs. And if you've seen every single of one these movies, you are officially a freak. Congrats.

categories Features, Cinematical