Lesson learned: The fuglier the movie character looks, the better the caption pool. So in the tradition of Davy Jones, Saphira and Nicolas Cage in Next, we give you Shrek. Sure he's a nice a dude and all, but let's face it, he's not quite in the same league as that fiery redhead Fiona.

First a shout out to the winners of last week's contest, y'all have Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End posters on the way, and millions who envy you. Or at least a couple dozen. And onto the new: Winners of our three favorite captions for the photo below from Shrek the Third will win the first two Shrek movies on DVD, plus a poster signed by the cast. A cast that includes, Justin Timberlake, by the way, and word is he's got mad Sharpie skillz. Good luck!

Pirates of the Caribbean1. "I'm sorry but this face is octopied." -- Brandy H.

2. "Yes, shaving IS a bitch. Thanks for asking. -- Geraldine R.

3. "NEVER AGAIN will I have sex with an octopus." -- Barry W.

See full image and all captions

This week's contest:

Shrek the Third

Editor's Note: We spoke too soon. JT does NOT have mad Sharpie skillz, after all. He did not sign the posters, but Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy and Antonio Banderas did! We swear.