Johnny Depp in Pirates of the CaribbeanSo is it just me, or is the summer movie season off to a crappy start? Oh the numbers are big with both 'Spider-Man 3' and 'Shrek 3' breaking box office records, and 'Pirates 3' is sure to do some record busting of its own. But aside from 'Shrek 3' (which I liked a lot), 'Spider-Man' got caught in his own web of emo B.S. and 'Pirates 3' ... just blows. But I'm not giving up the ship just yet (or limiting my high expectations to indie fare). I have super high hopes for 'Knocked Up' and I actually think that 'Transformers' might rock the house.

But in the meantime, matey, here's my take on this weekend's wide releases. Oh, but first ... What do Captain Jack Sparrow and Colin Farrell have in common? They're both searching for booty!! (Ba-dum ching!) And what do you call a pirate who poses for Playboy? A Play-matey! Thanks, I'll be here all week.

OK, here we go. Yes, that's right, the much anticipated finale of the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' series sails into theaters.

(Announcer voice) Last time on 'Pirates' ... If you remember, at the end of 'Pirates 2,' Lord Cutler stole Davy Jones' heart and Captain Jack was sent to Davy Jones' locker at the end of the world. Now, Captain Barbossa, Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann lead the crew of the Black Pearl to the world's end to rescue Jack Sparrow and to find the Pieces of Eight to reunite the Pirate Council of Nine to fight against Cutler, Jones and the entire East India Trading Company armada.