I'm beginning to wonder what exactly I watched as a child. While all of my friends talk excitedly about the big-screen adaptations of Transformers and now G.I. Joe, I find myself completely left out. I was the perfect age for those shows, but never saw an episode. What the hell was I watching -- Gummi Bears? (I do know the entire theme song, which I think answers my question. "Bouncing here and there and everywhere!") Erik just told you about Paramount's plans to move forward with a live-action G.I. Joe film, and also shared Latino Review's extremely unfavorable script review. Fear not, plastic man fans -- according to iesb, that leaked script was a rushed and incomplete first draft by Skip Woods, writer of Swordfish. (And Lord knows that guy couldn't write a bad movie!)
Woods' take was more of an "origin story," but it seems that his is not the only G.I. Joe script out there. A few years ago Paramount hired David Elliot and Paul Lovett (Four Brothers) to write a draft that was more of a straight-up adaptation of the series. That script (read LR's positive review here) included Duke, Scarlett, Snake Eyes, Hi-Tech, Heavy Duty, Wild Bill, General Hawk and General Flagg. The villains were Destro, the Baroness, Storm Shadow and Cobra. And now, in an unusual move, Paramount is asking both parties to finish their scripts at the same time. Woods will complete his first draft, Elliot and Lovett will begin a third draft. And then I assume Paramount will either make a choice or combine elements of both. Apparently Hasbro and Paramount are making this move to get the movie into theaters as quickly as possible, and before the possible Writers' Guild strike. Now then, what does a red-blooded American male have to do to get a Jem movie fast-tracked? That would be truly truly truly outrageous!