The stakes were indeed raised for last week's Insert Caption contest for The Matrix Ultimate Collection, and y'all turned out like a tribe of Zionists at a spontaneous rave party (minus the dry humping). Congrats to our grand-prize winner Christopher R., the proud new owner of an HD player. Chris and our two runners up will receive The Matrix Ultimate Collection on hi-def DVD as well. Let us know if hi-def brings Keanu Reeves' trademark brand of Method Wooden Acting to a whole new level.

This week we've got goodies from the zany Steve Carell comedy Evan Almighty to bestow upon thee (as you can probably tell by now, we very much enjoy bestowing, almost as much as we do bequeathing). Writers of our three favorite captions will win a tee-shirt, bucket hat, baseball cap, windbreaker, pet water bowl, pet collar and poster from the movie. All we'll say is, look what the bucket hat did for Gilligan. Good luck!

The Matrix 1. "Even though it rained on their wedding day, Mr. and Mrs. Smith would be darned if they were going to let three months of dance lessons go to waste." -- Christoper R.

2. "Rock Paper Scissors took an ugly turn when they both chose Rock."
-- Anthony B.

3. "Side effects of Blue Pill (TM) may include: violent outbursts, double vision, and extreme perspiration. Ask your doctor if Blue Pill (TM) is right for you." -- Susy P.

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This week's contest:

Evan Almighty