Hoo boy. You'd have to search really far and pretty wide to find an action movie as unapologetically stupid as DOA: Dead or Alive. Then again, when a movie aspires to be nothing more than an unofficial Charlie's Angels sequel, it's best not to walk in expecting Merchant Ivory ... or even Michael Bay. But after sitting through the plotless, mindless and broadly colorful piece of brain candy known as DOA: Dead or Alive, I came to the conclusion that the flick is so stupid it makes Charlie's Angels and Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle look like The Godfather and The Godfather Part 2 by comparison. And that's a whole lotta stupid.
The plot can be summed up in three simple words: Hot chicks fight. That's it: Very attractive women (none of whom could fight off a pushy butterfly in real life) are gathered together for a super-secret mega-battle tournament known as "Dead or Alive" -- which is kinda weird considering the flick's rated PG-13 and for all its comic book style violence, very few characters actually die. Come to think of it, the combatants are so skilled and so powerful I suspect they could beat up Zeus, Rocky and Superman without breaking a sweat. Not bad for a quartet of cuties who'd look more at home at a swanky pool party than soaring through a series of goofy fight scenes.