While I could whip out that oft-used sign of disgust: "I think I just hurled a little in mouth" just now, I really don't think that properly exemplifies my horror over this news. I'm tempted to whip out some yarn and knit a voodoo doll, but I don't think making a big building with the name "Paramount" on it will work the same as a little doll with body parts to stick pins into. I might be able to make some mysterious holes in the company's buildings, but that's not the same thing. So, I'll just gripe about the fact that the flipping crazy company has decided to make a remake of Footloose -- as a full-blown musical. Oh, yes. I think I finally believe that nothing is sacred. (Okay, I'll still hold out hope that Heathers is never, ever remade. If it is, someone will have to strap me down to keep me from revenge.)

The word over at Variety is that director Kenny Ortega is in talks to helm and choreograph the remake, grabbing his High School Musical star Zac Efron to take over Kevin Bacon's role as the wild, dancing rebel, Ren McCormack. Oh, how I hope that this one slips into development hell, and those responsible for the project choke on the fumes. You've gotta cut loose this idea, Paramount. You just know this remake will lose all of the original's spark -- the dust and charisma will be wiped clean to reveal pretty, perfect, ever-smiling faces. In the original, Bacon made dancing look cool in the town where it was banned -- partially because he wasn't some Disney-fied young actor obsessed with musical movies. He was Chip Diller from Animal House, not pretty boy Troy from High School Musical. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to bang my head against the wall.
categories Movies, Cinematical