I saw this news about a week ago, chuckled to myself, shook my head for a second and then just moved on to another website. But now that DVDActive.com has posted the rather bizarre DVD cover for the release I'm talking about, I just had to stop in and share my bemusement with the Cinematical crowd. Get this:

On September 25 Lionsgate will release an extended, unrated director's cut of ... are you ready? Alone in the Dark. Yes, the Uwe Boll one. Seriously. The one with Tara Reid in smart-girl glasess. One of the most hilariously lame movies of the last ten years will now be available in Dr. Uwe Boll's final vision. I'm sure the professors at USC are scheduling their lectures as we speak. According to DVDA, the director's cut will run 98 minutes, whereas the IMDb reminds us that the theatrical run ran 96 minutes in length. Surely 120 seconds of footage deemed unworthy to make the final cut of a Uwe Boll film is worthy of your $17 dollar investment!

This release will also offer a director's commentary and a featurette, although my own review of the first DVD reminds me that, yep, Uwe Boll recorded a solo track for that release too. Did he actually sit through this movie again to record a second one? Dang. Impressive. (My plea to Lionsgate: PLEASE let me come in and record an audio commentary!) Mostly importantly, Alone in the Dark was remastered and given a DTS 6.1 audio track. And so I ask the only logical question: Why? Odds are the Lionsgate folks are well aware of how monumentally and hilariously inept this movie is -- which means those two extra minutes must be something really special. Too bad I'll never find out.
categories Features, Cinematical