I don't have any children of my own -- but I have a lot of old friends who are precisely my age. And they ALL have kids. Big bunches of sticky, adorable, smart, loud, wonderful, moody kids. Once in a while I'll get an amusing little phone call that sounds a lot like this: "Hi Uncle Scott it's Robby do you wanna eet at Bugger King and get some Smimmpsons toys?" Now, when your seven-year-old godson asks you a question like that -- you really can't say no. (Truth be told I'd just eaten half a pizza, but I love this kid almost as much as I love The Simpsons.)

So off we go to Burger King and the three kids (Robby, 5-year-old Matty and 3-year-old Ms. Natalie) are on their extra-best behavior because ... they want the Simpsons Movie toys! So when we return to the table with a tray full of char-broiled meat and crusty chicken parts, the kiddies dive straight into their bags for their their plastic pals from Springfield. Robby finds a Spongebob keychain. Matty finds a mini Holly Hobbie doll. Natalie gets a Tonka Truck.

Screaming ensues.

Now, I know this sounds pretty stupid to the mature grown-ups of the world, but the phrases "while supplies last" and "we don't have any left" mean very little to children under the age of seven. They were getting Burger King as a special treat, the TV promised them a Simpsons toy for their troubles -- and they got rooked. So yes, crying did ensue. Weeping, bawling, monumental pouting, you name it. When I politely asked the counter-gal if they had any Simpsons toys in the back, she semi-rolled her eyes and said "No, we ran out yesterday morning" -- which I found really strange since I'd been there the night before and bought a Homer Simpson figure along with a large vanilla milk shake. (Yeah, I collect 'em too. Even I have my weaknesses.)
categories Movies, Cinematical