If there's still any doubt as to the lasting effect Brokeback Mountain has had on our collective image of the Western, look no further than the 69 captions we received for last week's 3:10 to Yuma contest. (Of course we also owe a great debt of gratitude to Jon Stewart for putting it all in historical context with that hilarious Oscars montage). Some moviegoers may be disappointed to hear that Russell Crowe and Christian Bale do not get... it... on... in Yuma, but I can tell you that they do seem to develop Jonah Hill-Michael Cera-style man-crushes on each other if that counts for anything. Congrats to our victors below, you win... his-and-hers Yuma t-shirts.

3:10 to Yuma1. "Oh well, the 5:25 to Yuma it is." -- Kathi F.

2. "You're right. From way up here, your career does look much bigger than mine." -- Charles P.

3. "I TOLD you to get directions... now look where we are, EuroDisney." -- Josh S.

See full image and all captions

This week we move on to a movie that sounds like a Western, Shoot 'Em Up, but is actually far "manlier": An action film in which Clive Owen kills men with carrots, beds Monica Belluccci while simultaneously shooting a flurry of henchmen, and counts a newborn baby as his sidekick. That's -- how do you say? -- gangsta. Unfortunately we don't have any carrots to give away (we have a strict no-weapons policy here), but our three winners will get a Shoot 'Em Up t-shirt, hat and shot glass. Cheers.

Shoot 'Em Up