Slant Magazine has put out its twin top ten lists for this year, and while I have some serious concerns about those lists -- they couldn't find room for Paul Verhoeven's masterpiece even in the honorable mention category! -- their superlatives boxes are some of the funniest I've seen anywhere. Here's a few of my favorites from their list: Most Homoerotic Use of a Computer goes to 300. Worst Performance By an Inanimate Object goes to Titus Welliver's mustache in Gone, Baby, Gone. I have to agree with that one. Worst Use of CGI goes to Jack Nicholson's skydiving scene in The Bucket List. And my absolute personal favorite of them all: Dramatic Climax Best Suited for a WWE Storyline goes to The Kite Runner. If you haven't seen it, you'll know exactly what that means when you do.
By the way, I've noticed that Slant has also jumped on the bandwagon of delivering high, if left-handed praise for the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie. In his original review, Ed Gonzalez said the movie was "so completely and violently divorced from any normal concept of narrative thinking it becomes Dadaesque." Now, the Slant duo have given the film a prominent mention in their year-end wrap-up for its "avant-garde insanity." I recently heard about another well-known critic who is seriously mulling the possibility of including Aqua Teen in his top ten list for the year. When he told me, I honestly thought he was joking but now I see it's not just him. Although it never occurred to me before, now I think I actually have to see this movie. It sounds like I'm missing out on something.