I'm not at all the target age for Veggie Tales, the TV show and videos that aim to make Bible stories entertaining and fun for kids, or that feature non-religious stories teaching good morals. Still, I've been exposed to the occasional clip from a Veggie Tales video here and there -- the bits that are so funny they circulate the Web. And I do like children's movies and TV occasionally ... we're big SpongeBob SquarePants fans in this household, even though he's no longer in vogue. I was therefore a little disappointed that The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A Veggie Tales Movie wasn't all that entertaining on a grown-up level.
The storyline for this latest Veggie Tales endeavor has very little to do with the Bible, except for some parallels hinted at between "our Father, the King" of the movie and a certain religious figure. Larry the Cucumber, a Veggie Tales regular, is cast here as Elliot, a "cabin boy" (busboy) at a dinner-theater restaurant with a piratical theme. (I kept wondering if the writer was paying homage to Chris Elliot in Cabin Boy.) His fellow cabin boys are Sedgwick, played by Mr. Lunt the gourd, and George, played by Pa Grape. (Not being a Veggie Tales viewer, it took me awhile to realize that George was a grape and not a pea ... a grape isn't a veggie, after all. But "Veggie and Fruit Tales" doesn't have the same ring to it and might sound suspicious to hypersensitive types.) All three cabin boys aspire to perform in the dinner theater production, but Elliot is a fraidy-cat, Sedgwick is lazy and George has no self-confidence.