"A guy can teleport."

That's the basic plot of Doug Liman's alternately dry and ridiculous new action thriller Jumper, and the film takes great pains to NOT introduce anything that might distract from that one paltry premise: One really uninteresting guy can teleport wherever he wants (including bank vaults, beaches, and the head of the Egyptian Sphinx) -- up until the day that a ferocious (but also ridiculous) villain shows up to ruin all the teleport-y fun. And then we get a half-decent chase, a bunch of hyper-kinetically edited action, and a sequel teaser. For a 90-minute flick that focuses on a guy who moves real quick, it sure doesn't move all that slick.

Frankly, I expect a little more creativity from Doug Liman at this point, who seems to be coasting on fumes after delivering rock-solid action flicks like The Bourne Identity and Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Jumper feels like it was made with a test-screening audience in mind, and those who consider themselves fans of the source material -- a series of novels by Steven Gould -- will probably find themselves sorely disappointed in the movie version.

The screenplay (which was cobbled together by professional script surgeons Jim Uhls, David Goyer, and Simon Kinberg) feels like 11 or 12 isolated sequences that were simply lifted from Gould's books, regardless of how well they actually mesh together into one cohesive movie. Once the heavy-handed voice-over narration subsides ... just give up. The movie stabs wildly at a small collection of plot points, finds none to its liking, and then just keeps on chugging towards the end credits.