The DVD business is this insidious virus that messes with your mental state, stings your wallet like an unfriendly bee, and clutters up your home, your local used store, and landfills with previously-loved recordings that have been thrown out like old cell phones.

The main culprit are those mean, money-hungry re-releases. Sometimes, the hints of discs-to-come are very strong -- enough that you know a new version is inevitable. When Donnie Darko dipped to $9 a disc, you just knew that a new release was on the horizon, and this week, those under-$10 Ice Storm discs have paved the way for a new Criterion release. But it is not always so cut and dry.

Sometimes you get a handful of releases for one single movie, often with competing features. The fifteen billion Army of Darkness releases, for example, offer battling quotes. If you want to hear "Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun," you better make sure that you have the right version; otherwise, you'll get the painfully inferior: "I'm not that good." The same goes for: "Maybe, just maybe my boys can protect the book. Yeah, and maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot," which became the much less quotable: "I need more men." It becomes not only a race for the best disc features, but also a race to get the movie you remember, and the quotes you love.
categories Features, Cinematical