Welcome back to another funtastic, Americana edition of Insert Caption -- the game where you don't need fireworks to blow our minds. Last week we asked you to step up to the mic with some dope captions for a photo from The Wackness. Congrats to Kurt P., who can now escape the summer heat and chill out with a new portable DVD player. We're jealous. We might stalk you Kurt. Be ready.

1. "Young couple seeks father figure, must have Hawaiian shirt, facial hair, and soft focus." -- Kurt P.

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This week we're celebrating our independence with a big, bad red dude named Hellboy. That's right! Guillermo del Toro, Hellboy and all his freak-ish friends are back to get their fight on in Hellboy II: The Golden Army, and the winners behind our three favorite captions based on the photo below will slip away with one Hellboy 2 t-shirt, one Hellboy 2 hat, one Hellboy 2 belt with buckle and one official Hellboy 2 poster. It's hot as hell outside, and come July 11 (when Hellboy 2 hits theaters), it'll get even hotter. Sound off critters!

Read the official rules for this contest