Yes, the horrifying idea is true. Spooky Dan over at sat down with Rob Cohen, ostensibly to chat about The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor and a startling bombshell was dropped. Cohen revealed that Paramount has snagged the rights to the 1987 cult classic The Monster Squad, and plans on remaking it in fairly short order. Cohen is going to produce, but isn't interested in directing.

The Monster Squad is a delightful horror-comedy about a group of middle school students obsessed with Stephen King, werewolves, and vampires. In a tidy plot twist, Dracula suddenly appears in their calm suburb, calls forth a few familiar minions, and makes plans to take over the world at midnight. It's the movie that proved, once and for all, that Wolfman has "nards." After languishing in cultish obscurity (and imprisoned on VHS), the movie had a resurgence once all us children of the '80s came of age, and is now available in a wonderful DVD package.

All of this is why the flick ... doesn't need to be remade. It's the perfect product of the '80s, one of those snarky movies the decade was rich in. Obviously Paramount is thinking that its ongoing popularity makes it an instant hit; I'm sure they will lamely explain this as a way to introduce the movie to the younger generation. But that's why we have DVD. I can introduce it to my future children just fine, thanks.

I never thought I would live to see the day when my entire childhood was remade. Surely Space Camp and The Goonies can't be far behind. What does that leave? Only Flight of the Navigator and An American Tail. Surely, the latter is being tossed around. I mean, two-dimensional animation doesn't speak to today's youth. Make it stop, Hollywood! Make it stop!

categories Movies, Cinematical