By: Erik Davis

(With the Cine-staff off on a late-July mini-vacation, we thought it'd be fun to bring you some of our favorite pieces from years past. Enjoy!)

Part of my job involves watching every single trailer that comes through the pipeline, and, in most cases, writing about it. Thus, it pains me to keep hearing the same old voice-over lines from the guy with the deep voice. A friend of mine, a comedian by the name of Jeff Sussman, once did a bit on the movie trailer voice-over guy. In it, he speculated what it would be like to live with the movie trailer voice-over guy. Do all of his dinner conversations begin with "In a world ... where chicken cutlets and mashed potatoes come together ...?" It was a pretty funny routine, and Jeff had the voice down good, but I can't blame the movie trailer voice-over guy (who has a name, but I like calling him that) because those lines are written for him.

Personally, I'd like to take a stand today! No more of this! The following lines have been used in countless movie trailers, and I feel it's about time we officially retire them. And if we somehow survive this impending writer's strike, perhaps we can get a little more creative; ya know, write stuff for the movie trailer voice-over guy that we haven't already heard a million times before. From this day forward, I urge all of you to take a stand and help us ban the following lines of dialogue from showing up in future trailers. Think about the children, people! This one is for them ...

"What he/she needed most was right in front of them the whole time ..."

I just heard this one ... for the umpteenth time ... in the trailer for an upcoming film that I won't mention. First off, why even say this line? Doesn't it ruin the entire ending of a film? If Jack (a struggling artist with a fear of circus clowns) meets Jill (a beautiful single girl who just happens to be a circus clown), isn't it obvious that finding her will help solve his problems? Do we really need to add on the extra line: "And what Jack needed most was right in front of him the whole time." Who cares, honestly. This line shows up in the trailers for a majority of romantic comedies, and every time I hear it I want to throw something at the screen. Let's come up with something a tad more original, like, for example: "And what Jack needed most ... was to get laid." Now that I'd buy a ticket for.

categories Cinematical