Hey, everybody, it's a Labor Day clearance sale! We gotta get rid of these leftover summer movies before the fall models come in! Quick, anybody in the market for a rip-off of Superbad? All it's missing are the likable characters and the good performances! Oh, and the comedy. The comedy fell off in the warehouse. But hey, it's got boobs! That's worth something, right? Anyone? Hello?
You might guess that a film with the uninspired title of College would be lame and derivative, and you'd be right. This laugh-free debacle is the story of three high school seniors who visit a university for a "preview" weekend in the hopes of learning more about the campus, but mostly in the hopes of participating in the legendary college parties. The normal kid is Kevin (Drake Bell), whose girlfriend has just broken up with him. He has a fat, vulgar, slobby best friend named Carter (Andrew Caldwell), and the trio is completed by McLovin -- I'm sorry, Morris (Kevin Covais), a nerdy, bespectacled wimp who looks about 14.
These three arrive at Fieldmont University (FU, get it?) to find that the dorm room they'd been scheduled to stay in is unavailable due to its occupant being a chronic masturbator. (The film makes this even less funny than it sounds.) So instead they try their chances at Beta Phi Tau, where the bastard frat president (pardon the redundancy), Teague (Nick Zano), agrees to let them stay in the basement for the weekend. His motivation for this is that he and his buddies want to torment them. The kids are willing to endure it because it means they can go to frat parties and scam on hot college chicks.