Welcome back to another installment in our groundbreaking, game-changing (to borrow a phrase from the news anchors of the world) Insert Caption series -- where you provide the content and we provide the prizes. Last week we asked you to dish out some captions for a photo from How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, which opens in theaters today. Congrats to our three winners -- none of whom include you, dude.

1. "But the ad said the auditions were for Hair" -- Debra F.

2. "All Simon's attempts to compliment Jeff's "very masculine" hair piece ended in futility after mistakenly introducing himself to whom he thought was "Mrs. Bridges." -- Nathan H.

3. "Look, it's part of the bailout agreement. I get to keep my CEO golden parachute, and you have to swim back to England." -- Kevin M.

See full image and all captions

This week we've purchased a one-way ticket forThe Express, which hits theaters on October 10th, and follows the story of Ernie Davis, the first African-American to win the Heisman Trophy. The three readers who score a touchdown with our caption judges this week will hit the showers with a prize package that includes one The Express poster, one The Express t-shirt, one The Express hat and one The Express mini football. Sunday afternoon will never be the same again. Sound off below ...

Read the official rules for this contest