Ray Stevenson in 'Punisher: War Zone' (left) and Jason Statham in 'Transporter 3'

Who do you prefer: Frank Martin (Jason Statham in Transporter 3) or Frank Castle (Ray Stevenson in Punisher: War Zone)? While munching popcorn at my local multiplex on Friday night, I realized that both movies I was watching featured lead characters named Frank! Since both flicks were disappointing to various degrees (as explained at length by William Goss and Eric D. Snider), my mind wandered and I began imagining a movie in which the two battled to the death. Call it Frank vs. Frank.

If that calls to mind the horror movie stand-off Freddy vs. Jason, you're not far off from my idle imaginings. In fact, the extreme body count and ultra-violence inflicted by Frank Castle -- I can't remember when I've seen so many blown-apart faces and shotgunned heads -- means that Punisher: War Zone closely resembles an 80s slasher movie. Of course, Transporter Frank would rather avoid violence altogether, but he too manages to lay waste to dozens of bad guys.

Both Franks live by their own set of rules: Transporter Frank insists on no names, no opening the package, and no changing the deal, while Punisher Frank only kills criminals who deserve to die -- which is all of them, but still, it's a rule. Both men prefer to work alone. And both men enforce their own dress code: Transporter Frank wears a black suit, white shirt, and black tie, while Punisher Frank wears a skull on his full-length costume (admittedly, not so prominent in the latest version).

I know who'd win in my movie version, but I thought I'd throw it out there to my fellow action movie junkies. Who would win: the more cerebral, 'let me alone, I want to retire' Transporter Frank? Or the merciless, 'forever hell bent on vengeance' Punisher Frank?

categories Cinematical