(This month we're bringing back some of our favorite holiday-related posts, as well as sharing some new ones. Happy Holidays!)

By: Patrick Walsh

Wonderful as the classic family Christmas movies can be, the overwhelming sugary sweetness in most of them can be a little off-putting to adult audiences. I know my friends tend to gravitate more towards the R-rated holiday fare -- Die Hard, Bad Santa, The Ref, etc. Lord knows Hollywood doesn't want to be bothered coming up with original ideas, so I'm proposing seven remakes of Christmas family classics -- souped up for 2008 and aimed at the 17+ crowd. I've set up the plots and even suggested a possible director for each. Enjoy...

Judd Apatow's Elf

40 year-old Buddy (Will Ferrell) learns that he is in fact a human, not an elf, and he has been kept from human experiences for his entire life. Buddy returns to Earth eager to make up for lost time, with the help of some wisecracking friends, played by Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd ("You know how I know you're gay? You're wearing yellow tights!"). They are more than willing to help him out, and so begins an epic quest to get Buddy laid -- though what Buddy really wants is love. He eventually finds it with the kind of girl who would totally go for an average-looking man/child in the Apatow universe -- Jessica Alba.
categories Cinematical