With all the presenters' banter heavily scripted and a lot of the winners easy to guess beforehand, the only truly unpredictable part of the Academy Awards is the acceptance speeches. Those Hollywood types -- especially actors, who love being the center of attention and looove the sound of their own voices -- might say anything in a rush of excitement and emotion.

Over at Esquire, they've compiled an amusing list of the various types of Oscar speeches: the Crusading Blowhard, the Weepy Babbler, the Short-and-Sweet, and so forth. Then, for added fun, they've dug up historical precedents for each of them. For example, Rita Moreno was the "Adorably" Bombastic Foreigner, cha-chaing up to the podium and shrieking into the microphone, long before Roberto Benigni embarrassed everyone with his antics. And while Juila Roberts was definitely a Meddling Presenter when she gave Denzel Washington his trophy, she was nothing compared to the way Frank Sinatra hogged Cary Grant's spotlight when he gave him his lifetime achievement award.

It's a fun list, presented in the ever-popular slide-show-with-occasional-ad-interruptions format. As a bonus, consider that each of the labels they've come up with for the types of speeches could also serve as the name of an obscure sexual maneuver. The Meddling Presenter indeed!
categories Oscars, Cinematical