'Naked Dawn' (Funny or Die)

Wouldn't every movie be better if it featured naked people? That was my thinking as an overheated youth in the late 70s and early 80s, and, fortunately for me, theaters were flooded in those days with naked people -- almost all lovely young women. Of course, some movies resisted that notion, insisting on keeping characters fully clothed for reasons of "artistic integrity," "narrative logic," or "refusal of actresses to cheapen themselves by appearing in gratuitous nude scenes."

One such movie was John Milius' Red Dawn, the gloriously jingoistic paen to teenagers arming themselves with machine guns and mowing down invading Russians, in which Lea Thompson and Jennifer Grey kept their clothes on as soldiers of misfortune. An official remake is in development, but if you don't want to wait for that, the very talented Jake Szymanski (The Dirty Garage) at Funny or Die has forged ahead with his own version ... set in a nudist colony.

Frankly, this is not quite my dream remake. For one thing, the faux trailer features frontally nude men almost exclusively, without a modern, naked equivalent of Lea Thompson or Jennifer Grey in sight. Still, a fully-clothed Mena Suvari appears, wielding a whip, and Vinnie Jones chews up the scenery as the Russian leader. A very naked Rob Schneider leads the rebellion. Which is more frightening: an invading foreign army, or Rob Schneider naked? Watch it and decide for yourself. WARNING: NSFW due to nudity.