Over there in the blogosphere, Dorian at Post-Modern Barney is making everyone feel a little awkward with a rundown of occasionally offensive yet hilariously accurate plot summaries. I smell the next Twitter novel (hashtag mania!) or a grad thesis that would leave Gilles Deleuze weeping in his po-mo grave. Or a late-night drinking game after all the PC-compliant non-movie nerds leave. Here are a few of my personal favorites -- well, the more PG ones, anyway!

ALIENS: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: Teenage serial killer destroys town in fit of semi-religious fervor.

CHINATOWN: Father desires closer relationship with his children.

DONNIE DARKO: Hallucinating teen crushed by airplane engine.
categories Cinematical