News out of Cannes is that Peter Webber, director of Girl with the Pearl Earring and Hannibal Rising, has been signed to film Olivia Hetreed's Wuthering Heights script. The project's been batted around for awhile -- last year, John Maybury (The Jacket) was supposed to direct, with Michael Fassbender and Natalie Portman as leads.

But Hollywood is a fickle mistress, and Portman pulled out, followed by Fassbender. The newly minted version of Emily Bronte's 1847 tearjerker about the thwarted, moor-side love between heartstrong Cathy and her brooding half-brother, Heathcliff was referenced in the mega-blockbuster Twilight, so it only makes sense that this new version is patently aimed at that audience.

Now, instead of the more mature Fassbender and Portman, the principals will be played by Gossip Girl star Ed Westwick and Quantum of Solace's Strawberry Fields, Gemma Arterton. So think Twilight, only without the sparkly vampires and Mormon chastity vibe, but with more bustles and breast-beating.

How Wuthering Heights will fare with Stephanie Meyer's teenage demographic is uncertain -- it seems like it would be more of a hit with the older "Twilight moms" than the Gossip Girl crowd. Bronte's tale of unfulfilled passion is long, convoluted, and focuses on two of the most self-absorbed, egocentric drama queens in literature, who screw each other (and those around them) over in so many ways that it's hard to not want to just punch them in the throat.

On second thought, that sounds a lot like Gossip Girl.
categories Cinematical