Combining the words "Sam Raimi" and "horror" is one of those mixtures that evokes bliss -- wild laughs, wonderful chills, and the best hero the big screen has ever seen. Just thinking of Ash was enough to send me into an INeedToSeeDragMetoHellNOW frenzy, positive that Raimi had created a character to rival Bruce Campbell's Ash. Add to that two weeks of tweets about how darned good Raimi's return to horror was, and I was just about foaming at the mouth as I tried to find a way to slip it into my busy weekend schedule.

Preemptively, I began to muse about how great the film would be for this column. So many were saying that Raimi has still got it that I was sure Alison Lohman's Christine would bring some horror-fighting magic. I slipped into a matinee seat, and prepared to be amazed. 99 minutes later, I left in shock. My praising spin was lost in a sea of disappointment.