By Elisabeth "The Horror Virgin" Rappe

It's late at night, and the house is quiet. Our heroine is alone. The phone rings. The voice on the other end is hauntingly familiar, and he poses a question that chills our heroine to the very core.

"Elisabeth! I want you to do a feature for Horror Squad. What do you think about ..."
She gulps. Her throat tightens, and with difficulty she manages to speak: "Umm, Scott. I don't really know anything about horror movies. I've only seen a handful in my entire life." The madman seizes on it. "I know! It's perfect! Why don't I write up a whole list of horror movies I think you should watch, and every week you do a feature on it, charting your progress and blah blah blee..."

Desperate for freelance moneys and horror blog cred, she agrees to his maniacal experimentation. Our heroine puts down the phone, heart pounding, and wipes the cold sweat from her forehead. Just what has she gotten herself into? What foul and gruesome terrors await the flickering screen of her laptop? Will she survive, a horror virgin no more? Will she become (*gasp*) a big fan of the genre? Or will her fragile psyche crumble after witnessing such dark depravities?

We'll find out together, dear friends and readers. Tune in every week as Weinberg assigns me a scary film, ever hoping to create a new horror geek in his image. I encourage you to watch along with me (especially if you're a horror virgin like myself) and together we'll have a lot of blood-splattered fun. If I escape with my sanity intact and clean pajamas, I'll be very happy indeed. I've just been informed that my first assignment is ... Night of the Living Dead! Obviously the 1968 original. Don't forget who my taskmaster is...
categories Features, Reviews, Horror